Time To Propose Alternate Novelty GOP Presidential Candidates.
Now that Donald Trump is officially out of the running for President, and since Gary Coleman is still deceased, we’re gonna need a new sideshow freak candidate for the Republican field to keep us interested between now and when the election takes place 560 months from now. Here are some suggestions:
• Ted Nugent
• Mike Ditka
• Pat Sajak
• Lou Dobbs
• Character actor James Cromwell, who I don’t think is conservative but kinda looks like a GOP President
• Kid Rock
• A Ford F150 pickup truck
• Larry the Cable Guy
• Joe the Plumber
• Bob the Builder
• That one blonde lady from “The View”
• “Sweetness,” Stephen Colbert’s pet handgun
• Captain America
• Adam Carolla
• Incredibly lifelike dummy of David Petraeus
• Michael Palin
I think it’s just fun to say things about her. She opens herself up to be a target. There’s something so self-assured about her. Everybody needs to have some self-doubt and acknowledgment that they don’t know what they’re doing and that life is more complicated than they understand. My objection to her is not political. It’s just aesthetic. It’s just humane. She’s perfectly evil to me, so I like making fun of her in ways that have nothing to do with who she really is.
That’s legendary comedian Louis CK talking about Sarah Palin, and the thing about Palin is that you CANNOT reference her in nonpolitical terms. At this point, the former Alaska governor is a purely political entity, so much so that if you said “Sarah Palin likes applesauce,” people would immediately attach 90 different political meanings to it.
[Louis C.K., goldenfiddle, the20s]
The 20 are identified using social media metrics and trending local news topics. Unless otherwise specified, the individuals listed are in no way affiliated with NBC Philadelphia